...Buffy citati & slično...
SEZONA 1.
...Welcome to Hellmouth...
Joyce: "And honey, try not to get kicked out."
Xander: "I kind of had a problem with the math."
Willow: "Which part?"
Xander: "The math."
Xander: "You're certainly a font of nothing."
Flutie: "All the kids here are free to call me Bob. But, they don't."
Xander: "Can I have you?"
Buffy: "..."
Xander: "Uh...can I help you?"
Xander: "We both go to school. Very suave, very not pathetic."
Cordelia: "Willow, nice dress. Glad to know you've seen the softer side of
Sears."
Cordelia: "The Bronze. It's the only club worth going to around here. They let
anybody in, but it's still the scene. It's in the bad part of town."
Buffy: "Where's that?"
Cordelia: "About half a block from the good part of town. We don't have a
whole lot of town here."
Buffy: "That's not what I'm looking for."
Giles: "Are you sure?"
Buffy: "I'm way sure!"
Buffy: "It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hang out with me."
Willow: "Aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?"
Buffy: "I can't do both?"
Willow: "Not legally."
Willow: "He was a curator at a British museum, or the British museum? I'm not
sure. But he knows everything and he brought all these historical volumes and
biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?"
Cordelia: "Are these guys bothering you?"
Buffy: "Uh, no!"
Willow: "She's not hanging out with us!"
Jesse: "Hey, Cordelia!"
Cordelia: "Oh please. I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I
just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with
the chest hair, because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the
locker."
Buffy: "What?"
Willow: "What are you talking about?"
Cordelia: "Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker."
Buffy: "Dead?"
Cordelia: "Totally dead. Way dead."
Xander: "So, not just a little dead, then?"
Cordelia: "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"
Jesse: "You know, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on..."
Buffy: "How did he die?"
Cordelia: "I don't know."
Buffy: "Well, were there any marks?"
Cordelia: "Morbid much! I didn't ask!"
Buffy: "Um, I gotta' book. I'll see you guys later."
Cordelia: "What's her deal?"
Buffy: "I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus, and I don't care!"
Giles: "Then why are you here?"
Buffy: "To...tell you...that...I don't care...which...I don't...and...have now told
you...so...bye!"
Buffy: "To make you a vampire, they have to suck your blood, then you have to
suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing."
Buffy: "First of all, I'm a vampire slayer. And secondly, I'm retired. Hey, I know!
Why don't you kill 'em?"
Giles: "I'm a Watcher. I haven't the skill."
Buffy: "Oh come on! Stake through the heart. A little sunlight. It's like falling off
a log."
Giles: "A Slayer slayes, a Watcher..."
Buffy: "Watches?"
Giles: "Yes...no!"
Giles: "Something's coming. Something is gonna' happen here...soon!"
Buffy: "Gee, can you vague that up for me?"
Angel: "I know what you're thinking, but don't worry, I don't bite!"
Buffy: "Who are you?"
Angel: "Let's just say I'm a friend."
Buffy: "Well, maybe I don't want a friend!"
Angel: "I didn't say I was yours."
Willow: "I thought Xander was gonna' show up."
Buffy: "Oh, are you guys going out?"
Willow: "No, we're just friends. We used to go out, but we broke up."
Buffy: "How come?"
Willow: "He stole my Barbie."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Oh, we were 5."
Buffy: "Oh."
Willow: "I don't actually date a whole lot...lately."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Willow: "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or
witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go
away."
Buffy: "It's not that bad."
Willow: "It is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk."
Buffy: "You really haven't been dating lately."
Buffy: "Sieze the moment, 'cause tomorrow you might be dead."
Willow: "Oh that's nice!"
Buffy: "Dark, gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way."
Cordelia: "Oh yay, it's my stalker."
Jesse: "You wanna' dance?"
Cordelia: "With you?"
Jesse: "Well, uh, yeah!"
Cordelia: "Well, uh, no!"
Cordelia: "What is your childhood trauma?!?!"
Giles: "The vampire is not dead?"
Buffy: "No, but my social life is on the critical list."
Willow: "It sure is dark."
Thomas: "It's night."
Willow: "Well, that's a dark time, night...traditionally."
Willow: "Oh, okay, this is nice...and scary."
Buffy: "Now, we can do this the hard way, or...well, actually, there's just the
hard way."
Buffy: "This is not gonna' be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language,
adult content."
Willow: "Oh, I--I need to sit down."
Buffy: "You are sitting down."
Willow: "Oh, good for me."
Willow: "Does anybody mind if I pass out?"
Buffy: "God, I'm so mentally challenged!"
Xander: "Yesterday, my life's like, 'Uh-oh, pop quiz!" Today it's, "rain of toads."
Angel: "They really don't like me dropping in."
Buffy: "Why not?"
Angel: "They really don't like me."
Jesse: "I can hear the worms in the earth!"
Xander: "That's a plus."
Master: "Tonight, I shall walk the Earth, and the stars themselves will hide!"
Xander: "I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say they're not
good."
Buffy: "So Giles, got anything that can make this day any worse?"
Giles: "How about the end of the world?"
Buffy: "Knew I could count on you."
Cordelia: "Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished?"
Buffy: "Don't go Wild Bunch on me."
Willow: "Did we win?"
Buffy: "Well, we averted the apocalypse. I'll give us points for that."
Xander: "I mean, the dead rose! We should have at least had an assembly."
Giles: "We may, in fact, stand between the Earth and its total destruction."
Buffy: "Well, I gotta' look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of
school."
Xander: "Oh yeah, that's a plan, 'cause a lot of schools aren't on Hellmouths."
Willow: "Maybe you can blow something up. They're really strict about that."
Buffy: "I was thinking of a more subtle approach, you know, like excessive not
studying."
Giles: "The Earth is doomed."
....The Witch...
Giles: "Do you ignore everything I say as a rule?"
Buffy: "No, I believe that's your trick."
Buffy: "And you'll be stopping me how?"
Giles: "By appealing to your common sense, if such a creature exists."
Xander: "Ooh, stretchy! Where was I?"
Willow: "You were pretending that seeing scantily-clad girls in revealing
postures was a spiritual experience."
Xander: "Who said I was pretending?"
Buffy: "That much quality time with my mom would probably lead to some
quality matricide."
Amy: "Oh, how I hate this, let me count the ways."
Willow: "That girl's on fire!"
Cordelia: "Enough with the hyperbole!"
Giles: "That's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth. There's a virtual cornucopia
of fiends and devils and ghould to engage! Pardon me for seeing the glass half
full."
Buffy: "You guys don't have to get involved."
Xander: "What do you mean? We're a team. Aren't we a team?"
Willow: "Yeah, you're the Slayer. We're, like, the Slayerettes."
Xander: "I laugh in the face of danger, and then I hide until it goes away."
Willow: "Yeah, her mom's kinda'..."
Buffy: "Nazi-like?"
Willow: "Heil."
Cordelia: "I have a dream. It's me on the cheerleading squad, adored by every
varsity male as far as the eye can see. We have to achieve our dreams, or else
we wither and die."
Xander: "That's why you're so cool! You're like a guy! You're my guy friend that
knows about girl stuff."
Willow: "Oh great. I'm a guy."
Xander: "One of those girls hit me really hard. We should test for steroids."
Xander: "For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before
me."
Willow: "You're not invisible to Buffy."
Xander: "It's worse. I'm just a part of the scenery. Like an old shoe, or a rug that
you walk on every day but don't really see it."
Willow: "Like a pen that's all chewed up and you know you should throw it
away. But you don't, not because you like is so much. More 'cause you're just
used to it."
Xander: "Well, yeah, that is the point. You don't have to drive it through my
head like a railroad spike."
Cordelia: "I don't wanna' drive today, Mr. Pole."
Mr. Pole: "You've flunked Driver's Ed. twice already. Show me some moves or
you'll be taking the bus to college."
Xander: "First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house
in Sunnydale."
Giles: "Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?"
Willow: "Maybe because they met her? Did I say that?"
Xander: "It's not what you think!"
Willow: "You like to look at the semi-nude engravings?"
Xander: "Oh, well, I guess it is what you think."
Xander: "We're right behind you, only further back."
Buffy: "The test was positive. She's our Sabrina."
Buffy: "You're my friend! You're my Xander-shaped friend!"
Buffy: "You're not like other boys at all. You are totally and completely one of
the girls!"
Willow: "I need to talk to you. I can help you."
Amy: "Help me? With what?"
Willow: Well--well you know, all your witchcraft. I know this really good
cauldron. Do you actually ride a broom?"
Amy: "I'm just happy to have my body back. I'm thinking of getting fat."
Buffy: "You know, I hear that look's in for Spring."
....Teacher's pet...
Buffy: "Destructo Girl, that's me."
Blayne: "Girls really gotta' have something to go with me."
Xander: "Something like a lobotomy?"
Xander: "He's buff. She never said anything about him being buff."
Xander: "It's funny how the earth never opens up and swallows you when you
want it to."
Xander: "Those who can do. Those who can't laugh at those who can do."
Xander: "This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear, but...where
did they put his head?"
Willow: "Good point. I didn't want to hear that."
Giles: "Yes, she's lovely in a common, extremely well-proportioned way."
Flutie: "We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise, we bottle them up, and
before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved."
Buffy: "I'm not saying she craned her neck. We're talking full-on Exorcist twist."
Xander: "Forgiveness is my middle name. Well actually, it's Lavelle."
Willow: "He's got a crush on a giant insect!"
Xander: "What kind of a girly name is 'Angel' anyway?
Xander: "Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require
ointments the next day."
Xander: "Your hands are s--really...serrated."
Giles: "Frankly, madam, I haven't the faintest idea what time it is, nor do I care.
Now unlock his cell, unstrap him, and bring him to the telephone immediately.
This is a matter of life and death!"
Willow: "Got it. Coroner's report, complete with--yuck--color pictures.
Giles: "I understand, Carlyle. Yes, I'll take every precaution. Absolutely. It
sounds exactly like the creature you describe. You were right all along about
everything. Well, no, you weren't right about your mother coming back as a
Pekinese, but--uh, try to rest, old man. Yes. Ta. Bye now."
Giles: "Whatever you do, it had better be sudden and swift. This beast is
extremely dangerous."
Buffy: "Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around."
Giles: "Yes, in a straightjacket, howling his innards out day and night."
Buffy: "Okay, Admiral, way to inspire the troops."
Giles: "Sorry."
Giles: "Where am I gonna' find that?
Buffy: "In the vid. library. There are no books, but it's dark and musty. You'll feel
right at home. Go!"
Giles: "Recording bat sonar is something soothingly akin to having one's teeth
drilled."
Willow: "According to Miss French's personnel records, she was born in 1907.
She's like, ninety years old."
Giles: "And extremely well-preserved."
Claw: "You!"
Buffy: "Me."
Buffy: "Bat sonar. Makes your whole nervous system go to hell. You can go
there with it."
Xander: "Just for the record, you were right. I'm an idiot, and God bless you."
Willow: "I don't think it's bad. I think it's really...sweet. But certainly nothing I'll
ever bring up again."
...Never kill a boy on the first date...
Giles: "It should simply be plunge and move on, plunge and..."
Buffy: "Two points for the Slayer while the Watcher has yet to score!"
Buffy: "See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books,
and then they learn things."
Giles: "I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."
Owen: "I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around, kind of like a
security blanket."
Buffy: "Oh, I have something like that...well, it's an actual blanket...oh, and I
don't really carry it around anymore. So, Emily Dickens, huh? She's great!"
Owen: "Dickinson."
Buffy: "She's good, also."
Giles: "Oh, Emily Dickinson."
Buffy: "We're both fans?"
Giles: "Yes, she's quite a good poet. I mean, for uh, a..."
Buffy: "A girl?"
Giles: "For an American."
Xander: "So Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "I mean, how'd the laying go last night? No, I don't mean that either."
Buffy: "Boy, Cordelia's hips are wider than I thought."
Owen: "At least you don't have to eat your Soylent Green."
Giles: "My calculations are precise."
Buffy: "They're bad calculations. Bad!"
Giles: "I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century, and ask
the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take
in dinner and a show."
Buffy: "Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm."
Giles: "Well, you know what they say. Ninety percent of the vampire slaying
game is waiting."
Buffy: "You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago?"
Giles: "If your identity as a Slayer is revealed, it could put you and all those
around you in grave danger."
Buffy: "Well, in that case, I won't wear my button that says, "I'm a Slayer, ask
me how."
Xander: "So, you just went home?"
Buffy: "What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, 'Sorry I was late. I was sitting
in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent
an evil prophecy from coming to pass'?
Xander: "Or, 'Flat tire'?"
Buffy: "Tonight! Isn't that so?"
Xander: "What?"
Buffy: "Me and Owen."
Xander: "Yeah, so it is. It sure is so."
Giles: "She is the strangest girl."
Xander: "Oh, hey, here's something. A nice comfy overcoat and a ski cap. The
ear flaps will bring out your eyes."
Buffy: "Which one do you think Owen will like better: the red or the peach?"
Xander: "Oh, you mean for kissing you and then telling all his friends how easy
you are so the whole school loses respect for you and then talks behind your
back? The red's fine.
Buffy: "Thanks. I'll go with the peach."
Giles: "You have a date?"
Buffy: "Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow."
Giles: "You're not getting off that easily!"
Owen: "Man, you really care about your work!"
Buffy: "A cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer."
Buffy: "Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date."
Buffy: "If the Apocalypse comes, beep me."
Xander: "He's like Super Librarian. Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is
the ultimate weapon."
Cordelia: "Owen! Look at you here, all alone."
Owen: "Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy."
Cordelia: "Oh. Okay. You wanna' dance?"
Owen: "No, I'm still here with Buffy."
Cordelia: "You are so good to help the needy."
Buffy: "Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now, and for that to
happen, you would have to go somewhere that's away.
Cordelia: "Well, when you're ready for the big leagues, let me know."
Cordelia: "Hello, salty goodness!"
Cordelia: "Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy's going to need some serious
oxygen after I'm through with him."
Owen: "So, where do you know Buffy from?"
Angel: "Work."
Owen: "Are we going to see a dead body?"
Buffy: "Possibly several."
Giles: "Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't
mean at the same time."
Owen: "I read a lot about death, but I've never really seen a dead body before.
Do they usually move?"
Owen: "He tried to bite me! What a sissy!"
Owen: "Does anyone have an aspirin? Or sixty?"
Buffy: "Tonight would be not a workable thing. Did I just say that?"
Giles: "I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter
pilot. Or possibly a grocer."
...The pack....
Xander: "We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting!"
Willow: "It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!"
Xander: "I'm feeling that you're not in the field trip spirit here."
Xander: "This is about not being in class."
Buffy: "You're right. Suddenly, the animals look shiny and new."
Flutie: "I have had it up to here with you four. What are you doing?"
Kyle: "Nothing"
Flutie: "Did I ask you to speak?"
Kyle: "..."
Flutie: "Okay, I guess I did."
Buffy: "What is it with those guys?"
Willow: "They're obnoxious, professionally."
Xander: "Oh, every school has them. You start a new school, you get your
desks, your blackboards, and some mean kids."
Xander: "Why don't you pick on someone your own species?"
Buffy: "Well, I'm not constantly monitoring his health, his moods, his blood
pressure..."
Willow: "130 over 80."
Buffy: "You got it bad, girl."
Willow: "He makes my head go tingly."
Xander: "You took a bath."
Buffy: "Yeah, I often do. I'm actually known for it."
Buffy: "Oh great, it's the winged monkeys."
Xander: "Why do I need to learn this?"
Willow: "'Cause otherwise you'll flunk math."
Xander: "Explain the part where that's bad."
Willow: "You remember. You fail math. You flunk out of school. You end up
being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey kids,
where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this."
Giles: "You just run along to class, while I wait for the feeling to return to my
arms."
Coach: "God, this game is brutal. I love it."
Giles: "It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll
have to kill him."
Giles: "Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons. He will,
however, get over it."
Buffy: "I can't believe you, of all people, are trying to Scully me!"
Flutie: "You're gonna' have so much detention, your grandchildren will be
staying after school."
Willow: "Why couldn't he be possessed by a puppy, or some ducks?"
Xander: "I've been waiting for you to jump my bones."
Xander: "Come on, Slayer, I like it when you're scared. The more I scare you,
the better you smell."
Buffy: "It's safe to say that in his animal state, his idea of wooing doesn't
involve a Yanni CD and a bottle of chianti."
Willow: "Buffy saved both of our lives."
Xander: "Before she came here, our lives didn't need that much saving, did
they? Weren't things a lot simpler when it was just you and me?
Willow: "Maybe."
Xander: "When we're alone together."
Xander: "Nobody messes with my Willow."
Buffy: "This is definitely the superior Xander. Accept no substitutes."
Xander: "Shoot me. Stuff me. Mount me."
....Angel...
Willow: "What's it like where you are?"
Willow: "So, we're talking about a guy?"
Buffy: "Not exactly a guy. For us to have a conversation about a guy, there'd
have to be a guy for us to have a conversation about. Was that a sentence?"
Willow: "What about Angel?"
Buffy: "Yeah, just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey. You're in grave danger.
I'll see you next month!"
Cordelia: "Ouch!!! Please get your extreme oafishness off my two hundred
dollar shoes."
Xander: "You know, I don't know what everyone's talking about. That outfit
doesn't make you look like a hooker."
Xander: "That Cordelia's a regular breath of vile air."
Xander: "What are you vixens up to?"
Willow: "Just sitting here, watching our barren lives pass us by. Oh look, a
cockroach."
Xander: "Let's stop this crazy whirligig of fun. I'm dizzy."
Angel: "Good dogs don't bite."
Buffy: "Angel, do you snore?"
Angel: "I don't know. It's been a long time since anyone's been in a position to
let me know."
Xander: "Buffy, come on. Wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick
in the book."
Buffy: "What, saving my life, getting slashed in the ribs?"
Xander: "Duh!"
Xander: "I once drank an entire gallon of gatorade without taking a breath."
Willow: "It was pretty impressive. Although later there was an ick factor."
Willow: "How is it you always know this stuff? You always know what's going
on. I never know what's going on."
Giles: "Well, you weren't here from midnight until six researching it."
Willow: "No, I was sleeping."
Master: "I am weary, and their deaths will bring me little joy. Of course,
sometimes a little is enough."
Buffy: "Cool, crossbow! Check out these babies. Goodbye, stakes! Hello, flying
fatality!"
Buffy: "'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things!"
Buffy: "'A' doesn't even stand for Angel, for that matter. It stands for Achmed, a
charming foreign exchange student."
Buffy: "Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen?"
Giles: "A vampire isn't a person at all. It may have the movements, the
memories, even the personality of the person it took over, but it's still a demon
at the core. There is no halfway."
Willow: "So that'd be a no, huh?"
Xander: "You're in love with a vampire? What, are you out of your mind?"
Cordelia: "What?"
Xander: "Not vampire. How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em."
Cordelia: "Where did you get that dress? This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham.
Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knock-off? This is a
knock-off, isn't it? Some cheesy knock-off. This is exactly what happens when
you sign these free trade agreements."
Angel: "What's with the Catholic schoolgirl look? Last time I saw you, it was
kimonos."
Darla: "Is there anything better than a natural disaster?"
Xander: "I'm not saying anything. I have nothing to say."
Giles: "Does Angel have a tattoo behind his right shoulder?"
Buffy: "Yeah, it's a bird or somehing."
Xander: "Now I'm saying something. You saw him naked?"
Willow: "So he is a good vampire! I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being
someone who's killing and maiming every night, and 1 being someone
who's...not."
Willow: "Okay, here's something I gotta' know. When Angel kissed you...I mean,
before he turned into...how was it?"
Buffy: "Unbelievable."
Buffy: "You want Xander, you've gotta' speak up, girl!"
Willow: "No, no, no, no. No speaking up, that way leads to madness and sweaty
palms."
Willow: "It is kind of novel how he'll stay young and handsome forever,
although you'll still get wrinkly and die. And oh, what about the children? I'll be
quiet now."
Darla: "What do you want?"
Angel: "I want it finished."
Darla: "That's good. You're hurting me. That's good too."
Joyce: "I know she is having trouble with history. Is it too difficult for her, or is
she not applying herself?"
Giles: "She lives very much in the now, and well, history is very much about the
then.
Buffy: "I know you're here, and I know what you are."
Angel: "Do you? I'm just an animal, right?"
Buffy: "You're not an animal. Animals I like."
Buffy: "I've killed a lot of vampires. I've never hated one before."
Buffy: "I invited you into my home, and you attacked my family."
Angel: "Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends and their friends' children for
a hundred years. I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song
in my heart."
Angel: "I fed on a girl your age. Beautiful. Dumb as a post."
Angel: "The elders conjured up the perfect punishment for me: they restored
my soul."
Buffy: "What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?"
Angel: "I can walk like a man, but I'm not one. I wanted to kill you tonight."
Buffy: "Go ahead."
Angel: "..."
Buffy: "Not as easy as it looks."
Darla: "Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?"
Buffy: "Bad hair on top of that outfit?"
Buffy: "You guys were involved?"
Darla: "For several generations."
Buffy: "Well, when you've been around since Columbus, you're bound to pile
up a few ex's. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are
looking a little worn around the eyes."
Darla: "So many body parts, so few bullets."
Darla: "Let's begin with the knee caps. No fun dancing without them!"
Darla: "Close, but no heart."
Darla: "Come on, Buffy. Take it like a man."
Xander: "Ah, the post-fumigation party."
Buffy: "Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation
party?"
Xander: "Much heartier cockroaches."
Buffy: "It's weird, though. In this way, I feel like he's still watching me."
Willow: "Well, in a way he sort of is...in the way of that he's right over there."
...I Robot - you Jane...
Miss Calendar: "I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in
the 20th century, with three whole years to spare!"
Giles: "Well, I've examined it. You can, uh, uh, skin it."
Miss Calendar: "Scan it. Rupert, that's 'scan' it."
Giles: "Miss Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating. But I
happen to believe one can survive in modern society without being enslaved to
the idiot box."
Miss Calendar: "That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the good box."
Giles: "Well, I still prefer a good book."
Fritz: "The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an
entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive."
Miss Calendar: "Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people."
Miss Calendar: "You know, the last two years, more e-mail was sent than
regular mail. More digitized information went across phone lines than
conversations."
Giles: "That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror."
Willow: "Xander, you wanna' stay and help me?"
Xander: "You kidding?"
Willow: "Yes, it was a joke I made up."
Xander: "Willow, I love you, but bye!"
Giles: "I'll be back in the middle ages."
Miss Calendar: "Did you ever leave?"
Buffy: "Okay, you have a secret, and that's not allowed."
Willow: "Why not?"
Buffy: "'Cause...there's a rule."
Buffy: "You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away."
Buffy: "So, you've been seeing a guy, but you don't know what he looks like.
Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a
block of ice?"
Buffy: "What if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out he has
a hairy back?"
Willow: "Well, no, he doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back."
Miss Calendar: "Will I be excited?"
Fritz: "You'll die."
Xander: "Guess who."
Willow: "Uh, Xander?"
Xander: "Yeah, but keep guessing anyway."
Willow: "Xander?"
Xander: "Oh, I can't fool you. You see right through my petty charade."
Xander: "You're going to be missing out. I'm planning to be witty. I'm going to
make fun of all of the people who won't talk to me."
Willow: "That's nice. Have a good time!"
Buffy: "She certainly looks perky."
Xander: "Yeah. Color in the cheeks, bounce in the step. I don't like it. It's not
healthy."
Buffy: "This guy could be anybody. He could be weird or crazy or old or...he
could be a circus freak--he's probably a circus freak!"
Xander: "Yeah, I mean we read about it all the time. You know, people meet on
the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show...horrible axe murder."
Buffy: "Willow, axe murdered by a circus freak!"
Buffy: "We are totally overreacting!"
Xander: "But it's fun, isn't it?"
Willow: "You're having an expression."
Buffy: "He's boyfriendly?"
Buffy: "Hi there, Dave. Anybody home?"
Buffy: "Wow, I had knowledge!"
Giles: "Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is."
Giles: "Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it
were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element."
Xander: "What, I can't have information sometimes?"
Giles: "It's just somewhat unprecedented."
Buffy: "My spider sense is tingling."
Giles: "Your...spider sense?"
Buffy: "Pop culture reference. Sorry."
Buffy: "Breaking in. Then this is a plan."
Xander: "I'm free tonight."
Buffy: "Tonight it is."
Giles: "A moment, please, of quiet reflection..."
Miss Calendar: "You're here again? You kids really dig the library, don't you?"
Buffy: "We're literary."
Xander: "To read makes our speaking English good."
Miss Calendar: "Well, I think you'll be very happy here, with your musty old
books."
Giles: "These musty old books have a great deal more to say than any of your
fabulous web pages."
Giles: "Well, it's been so nice talking to you."
Miss Calendar: "We were fighting."
Giles: "Must do it again sometime. Bye now."
Buffy: "Tell me the truth. How's my hair?"
Xander: "It's great. It's your best hair ever."
Giles: "Does this look familiar to either of you?"
Buffy: "Yeah, sure. It looks like a book."
Xander: "I knew that one."
Xander: "You released Moloch?"
Buffy: "Way to go!"
Buffy: "Okay, so a powerful demon with horns is walking around Sunnydale,
and nobody's noticed?"
Giles: "The scanner read the book and brought Moloch out as information to be
absorbed."
Buffy: "He's gone binary on us."
Xander: "Okay, for those of us in our studio audience who are me, you guys are
saying that Moloch is in this computer?"
Buffy: "So much for 'delete file'."
Xander: "He's in a computer! What can he do?"
Buffy: "You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I
don't know. How 'bout mess up all the medical equipment in the world?"
Giles: "Randomize traffic signals."
Buffy: "Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles."
Giles: "Destroy the world's economy."
Buffy: "I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing."
Giles: "Right, yours was best."
Xander: "Okay, he's a threat. I'm on board with that now."
Miss Calendar: "Wrong and wrong, snobby."
Giles: "What's in cyberspace at the moment is less than divine."
Buffy: "Here's a tip: hurry!"
Miss Calendar: "The first thing we have to do is form the Circle of Kayless,
right?"
Giles: "Form a circle? But there's only two of us. That's really more of a line."
Giles: "Couldn't you just stop Moloch be entering some computer virus?"
Miss Calendar: "You've seen way too many movies."
Giles: "Hoping and betting, that's what we've got."
Miss Calendar: "You want to throw in praying, be my guest."
Xander: "Hey, I got to hit someone!"
Willow: "Malcolm! Remember me, your girlfriend? I think it's time we
break up. But maybe we can still be friends.
Giles: "If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible. It should
be, um, smelly."
Giles: "Well, I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear."
Miss Calendar: "That's not where I dangle it."
Giles: "..."
Willow: "Malcolm. Moloch. Whatever he's called. The one boy that's really liked
me and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?"
Buffy: "Doesn't say anything about you."
Willow: "I mean, I thought I was really falling..."
Buffy: "Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I moved
here? Turned out to be a vampire."
Xander: "Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant preying mantis."
Willow: "That's true."
Xander: "That's life on the Hellmouth."
Buffy: "Let's face it. None of us are ever gonna' have a happy, normal
relationship."
Xander: "We're doomed!"
Willow: "Yeah!"
(everyone laughs then everyone goes silent)
...The Puppet show...
Giles: "Oh. You three.
Giles: "...Our new fuhrer, Mr. Snyder.
Willow: "I think they call them Principals now.
Giles: "He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact...
Buffy: "Giles, to every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.
Giles: "If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least helped.
Buffy: "Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role, and watch.
Xander: "And mock.
Willow: "And laugh.
Principal Snyder: "My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for that touchy- feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.
Principal Snyder: "I know the three of you will come up with a wonderful act for the school to watch... and mock... and laugh. At.
Willow: "I think dummies are cute. You don't?
Buffy: "Eww. They give me the wig. Ever since I was little.
Willow: "What happened?
Buffy: "I saw a dummy, it gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there.
Sid: "You call those jokes? My jockey shorts are made out of better material. And they're edible.
Xander: "I have my pride. Okay, so I don't have a *lot* of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this.
Buffy: "What am I gonna do, slay vampires on stage?
Willow: "Maybe in a funny way.
Xander: "What ever happened to corporal punishment?
Sid: "How about you and I do a little rehearsing on our own, honey? You know what they say: Once you go wood, nothing's as good.
Buffy: "You might want to consider getting some new shtick, unless you want your prop ending up as a duraflame log.
Principal Snyder: "That's the kind of wooly: headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.
Giles: "Her heart was removed.
Willow: "Yikes!
Buffy: "Does that mean anything to you besides, 'oohh!'"
Buffy: "But demons have claws and teeth.
Xander: "They got no use for a big ol' knife.
Willow: "The creep factor is also heightened. It could be anyone. It could be me. *pause* It's not, though.
Cordelia: "All I can think is, "It could have been me."
Xander: "We can dream.
Buffy: "All we know is that Morgan is a Grade "A" large weirdo. That doesn't lead directly to murderer.
Xander: "The guy talks to his puppet.
Willow: "And _for_ his puppet.
Giles: "My investigation is somewhat hampered by a life in the theatre.
Buffy: "Uh, priority check, Giles... talent show... murder!
Principal Snyder: "There are things I will not tolerate: Student's loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed, and also smoking.
Buffy: "Look, Mom, if you really love me, and want to show your support, you'll stay away... far away.
Buffy: "Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit, 'cause that's how stupid I feel saying this.
Buffy: "I'm not just some crazy person. I'm the Slayer.
Xander: "The dummy slayer?
Xander: "Once again I'm banished to the demon section of the card catalog.
Buffy: "Whoever's out there, I'm going to hurt you! Badly! If you'll just give me a minute.
Sid: "Lets just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know, I'm not me any more. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt.
Sid: "Look at you, you're strong, athletic, limber... nubile... I'm back.
Buffy: "So that horny dummy thing really isn't an act, is it?
Sid: "Nope.
Buffy: "Yuck.
Xander: "So the dummy tells us that he's a demon hunter, and we're, like, fine, la la la la. He takes off, and now there's a brain. Does anyone else feel like they've been Keyser Soze'd?
Buffy: "This means whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain.
Xander: "In other words, I'm safe!
Giles: "I must say, all of you, your t- timing is impeccable.
Principal Snyder: "I don't get it. What is it, avant-garde?
Xander: "Madness, and... madness, and stabbing pain...
...Nightmares...
Buffy: "School! Great."
Joyce: "You wanna' go to school?"
Buffy: "Sure! Why not?"
Joyce: "Okay. Good day to buy that lottery ticket."
Willow: "My parents don't even bicker. Sometimes they glare."
Cordelia: "Hello, dufus? You're in my light."
Xander: "Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the
center of the universe and the rest of us merely revolve around her?"
Cordelia: "Why don't you revolve yourselves out of my light?"
Xander: "Wendell was in Cordelia's light"
Wendell: "I'm so ashamed."
Willow: "Why is she so Evita-like?"
Buffy: "I think it's the hair."
Willow: "Weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex."
Xander: "Hey, guys, was there any homework?"
Willow: "We're doing active listening today."
Xander: "Cool. What's active listening?"
Willow: "That would be the homework."
Buffy: "Chapter Five: Active Listening. Where you put on your big ears and
really focus on the other person."
Wendell: "Ms. Tishler demonstrated it yesterday."
Willow: "With you."
Buffy: "She was wearing that tight sweater?"
Xander: "Oh, the midnight blue angora. See, I was listening."
Buffy: "Oh, no. My bag! I packed it for the weekend, and I forgot it."
Joyce: "You and your dad can swing by the house and pick up your bag. It's
not an international crisis."
Joyce: "You just have to remember that your father adores you. No more than I
do, by the way."
Xander: "Oh, the spiders. Willow's been kind of, um...what's the word I'm
looking for? Insane about what happened yesterday."
Willow: "I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies and their sticky webs, and
what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you. For crawling across
your face in the middle of the night. Ew! How do they not ruffle you?"
Xander: "I'm sorry. I'm unruffled by spiders. Now, if a bunch of Nazis crawled all
over my face..."
Xander: "Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural
monsters: been there.
Buffy: "A little blase there, aren't you?"
Xander: "I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll
slay, we'll party!"
Buffy: "Thanks for having confidence in me."
Xander: "You da man, Buff."
Willow: "Okay, but we're still caring about the spiders here. Let's not forget the
spiders."
Xander: "Did you find any theories on spiders crawling out of books? Big,
hairy, crawly--it's funny of you're me."
Wendell: "I don't know what to say about that."
Xander: "There's nothing to say. You saw two hundred insects. You gonzoed.
Anybody would've."
Wendell: "They're not insects. They're arachnids."
Xander: "They're from the Middle East?"
Willow: "What do you mean you 'love spiders'?"
Xander: "It is platonic, right?"
Doctor: "She'll recover. She's got a couple of shattered bones, a little internal
bleeding. She got off pretty easy."
Buffy: "Easy?"
Giles: "Have you looked up the word lately?"
Xander: "It's a dream. It's gotta' be a dream. (pinches himself) Ow! Wake up.
(pinches himself again) Ow! Gotta' wake up. Aah!!!
Buffy: "Did you find anything?"
Giles: "I don't know."
Buffy: "You don't know if you didn't find anything?"
Giles: "I can't read."
Buffy: "What do you mean? You can read, like, three languages."
Giles: "Five, actually, on a normal day."
Giles: "The boy's been in a coma for a week. How can this be possible?"
Buffy: "What am I, Knowledge Girl now? Explanations are your terrain."
Buffy: "Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body?"
Giles: "Astral body, and I don't know."
Willow: "I would hate to have everyone paying attention to me like that."
Xander: "With nudity! It's a total nightmare."
Xander: "Um, our dreams are coming true."
Giles: "Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares.
Our nightmares are coming true."
Willow: "So, why is this happening?"
Giles: "Billy."
Xander: "Well, that explanation was shorter than usual. It's Billy! Who's Billy?"
Giles: "Somehow, I think he's crossed over from the nightmare world he's
trapped in."
Xander: "And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy!"
Willow: "How could he do that?"
Giles: "Things like that are easier when you live on a Hellmouth."
Xander: "It'll be faster if we split up to look for her."
Giles: "Good idea."
Willow: "Uh, uh, faster, but not really safer."
Willow: "I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not."
Xander: "All right! Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness."
Buffy: "I don't see the ugly man. I also don't know where the sun and the rest of
the world went."
The Master: "Nobody died. What's the fun of burying someone if they're already
dead?"
Willow: "I had to sing. Very bad. To sing."
Xander: "You were a lousy clown! Your balloon animals were pathetic.
Everyone can make a giraffe!"
Buffy: "Well, we better hurry, 'cause I'm getting hungry."
Xander: "That is a...joke, right?"
Willow: "Are you sure everything will go back once he's awake?"
Giles: "Oh, uh, positive."
Willow: "Well, how do we wake Billy up? What if we can't?"
Giles: "Willow, do shut up."
Buffy: "I'm glad you showed up. You see, I'm having a really bad day."
The Ugly Man: "Lucky Nineteen."
Buffy: "Scary. I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than
you. And I'm one of them."
Billy: "I had the strangest dream, and you were in it, and you...who are you
people?"
Buffy: "I just can't believe a kidde league coach would do something like that."
Xander: "Well, you obviously haven't played kiddie league. I'm surprised it
wasn't one of the parents."
Willow: "Personal question?"
Xander: "Yeah, shoot."
Willow: "When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were
you?"
Xander: "Willow, how can you--I mean, that's really bent! She was...grotesque!"
Willow: "Still dug her, huh?"
Xander: "I'm sick. I need help."
Willow: "Don't I know it."
...Invisible girl...
Cordelia: "Behold the weirdness."
Cordelia: "People who think their problems are so huge craze me, like this time
I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my
life, and she's trying to make it about her leg. Like my pain meant nothing.
Bud 1: "You got to look good to be on Cordelia's arm."
Mitch: "Oh, it's not her arm I'm looking to be on."
Cordelia: "I don't think I need the loony fringe vote."
Buffy: "Well...I don't even like chocolates. Okay, that was the lamest comeback
of our times."
Principal Snyder: "There are no dead students here...this week."
Buffy: "And monsters don't usually send messages. It's pretty much crush, kill,
destroy. This was different.
Giles: "I'd have to say you're right."
Buffy: "I love it when he says that!"
Giles: "I've never actually heard of anyone attacked by a lone baseball bat
before."
Xander: "Maybe it's a vampire bat."
Giles and Buffy: "..."
Xander: "I'm alone with that one, huh?"
Giles: "Xander, if you're not doing anything, would you like to help me?"
Xander: "What, so there's homework now? When did that happen?"
Buffy: "It's all part of the glamorous world of vampire slayage."
Xander: "Well, what part do you have?"
Buffy: "I'm gonna' find out what I can about Mitch. This attack wasn't random."
Xander: "Well, I want that part!"
Buffy: "Fine. You can do it. Ask around, talk to her friends. Talk to Cordelia!"
Xander: "Talk to Cordelia? So, research, huh?"
Cordelia: "But, you should have seen him lying there, all black and blue. How's
he gonna' look in our prom pictures? How am I ever gonna' be able to show
them to anyone?"
Harmony: "Well, they can do wonderful things with airbrushes these days."
Cordelia: "I just hope they can prop him up long enough to take the picture."
Harmony: "Ow!"
Principal Snyder: "Don't sue."
Xander: "Well, yeah, I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I
wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but I'd use my powers to protect the
girls' locker room."
Willow: "How'd she git it? Is she a witch? 'Cause we can fight a witch."
Xander: "Hmm, Greek myths speak of cloaks and invisibility, but they're usually
for the gods."
Buffy, Willow, and Giles: "..."
Xander: "Research Boy comes through with the knowledge!"
Xander: "Oh, hey, do you want to come to our place for dinner? Mom's making
her famous phone call to the Chinese place."
Willow: "Xander, do you guys even have a stove?"
Giles: "How exactly do you propose to hunt someone you can't see? You may
have to work on listening to people."
Buffy: "Very funny."
Giles: "I thought so."
Giles: "A vampire in love with a slayer. It's rather poetic...in a maudlin sort of
way."
Giles: "There's an invisible girl terrorizing the school."
Angel: "That's not really my area of expertise."
Giles: "Nor mine, I'm afraid. It's fascinating, though. By all accounts, it's a
wonderful power to possess."
Angel: "Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing
there...it's an overrated pleasure."
Willow: "Oh, my God. 'Have a nice summer.' 'Have a nice summer.' This girl had
no friends at all.
Giles: "Uh, once again, I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap.
Buffy: "'Have a nice summer' is what you write when you have nothing to say."
Xander: "It's the kiss of death."
Buffy: "You guys didn't know Marcie Ross?"
Xander: "Never met her. Why?"
Buffy: "'Cause you both wrote it too."
Xander: "'Have a nice--' Yeesh."
Willow: "Where am I? Oh. 'Have a great summer.' See? I cared.
Giles: "Of course! I've been investigating the mystical causes of invisibility,
when I should have looked at the quantum mechanical."
Buffy, Xander, and Willow: "..."
Giles: "Physics."
Buffy: "I think I speak for everyone here when I say, 'Huh?'"
Cordelia: "Buffy, I, uh, I know we've had our differences, with you being so
weird and all, and hanging out with these total losers."
Cordelia: "I know that you share this feeling that we have for each other, deep
down."
Willow: "Nausea?"
Cordelia: "This is all about me! Me, me, me!"
Xander: "Wow! For once, she's right."
Cordelia: "You're always around when all this weird stuff is happening, and I
know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons. I was kind of
hoping you were in a gang."
Giles: "You know, I...I don't recall ever seeing you here before."
Cordelia: "Oh, no. I have a life."
Cordelia: "Nothing is keeping me from the Bronze tonight."
Xander: "Can we just revel in your fabulous lack of priorities?"
Cordelia: "She's evil, okay? Way eviller than me."
Giles: "We could talk to her. Perhaps reason with her. Or possibly grab her."
Xander: "Can you say...gulp?"
Buffy: "Okay, can we have the heartfelt talk with a little less talk from you?"
Willow: "Why is Marcie doing this?"
Giles: "The loneliness, the constant exile. She's--she has gone mad."
Xander: "You think?"
Xander: "What happened?"
Angel: "You tell me."
Willow: "I'm up, Mom."
Angel: "I'll get it. It's not like I need the oxygen."
Buffy: "You know, I really felt sorry for you. You've suffered. There's one thing I
really didn't factor into all this: you're a thundering loony!"
Buffy: "Do you know that you guys are very creepy?"
Cordelia: "Look, um, I didn't get a chance to say anything yesterday, with the
coronation and everything, but, um, I guess I just want to say thank you. All of
you."
Xander: "That's funny, 'cause she looks like Cordelia."
....Properchy girl....
Xander: "Would you, um, date me? Oh, that's good. 'Date me.' It's terrible,
right?"
Willow: "Huh? Oh, no. Well, yes, 'date me' is silly."
Xander: "You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for
students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals,
and tag them before they migrate...just kill me!"
Xander: "I wanna' do it now. I gotta' do it now."
Willow: "Well, Buffy's not here. You can practice on me some more."
Master: "Yes, yes! Shake, earth! This is a sign. We are in the final days. My time
is come! Glory, glory! What do you think? 5.1?"
Buffy: "How you doing there, Giles? Get much sleep last night?"
Giles: "I've been working."
Buffy: "Me, too. I went hunting last night, and it is awfully sweet of you to ask."
Buffy: "Giles, care. I'm putting my life on the line battling the undead. Look, I
broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could is exhibit some
casual interest. You could go, 'hmm?'"
Giles: "Hmm?"
Buffy: "I can't put it off any longer. I have to meet my terrible fate."
Giles: "What?"
Buffy: "Biology."
Buffy: "Wow, that was boring."
Xander: "I don't feel that 'boring' covers it."
Buffy: "No, 'boring' falls short."
Willow: "Even I was bored, and I'm a science nerd."
Buffy: "Don't say that."
Willow: "I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in,
right?"
Xander: "Willow, don't you have a thing?"
Willow: "A thing? The thing...that I have...which is a thing...that I have to go to.
See you later!"
Buffy: "What on Earth is her deal?"
Xander: "Oh, she's Willow."
Xander: "Buffy, I want you to go to the dance with me. You and me. On a date."
Buffy: "I don't know what to say."
Xander: "Well, you're not laughing. That's a good start."
Xander: "We've fought some bloodsucking fiends, and that's all been a good
time. But I want more."
Xander: "I guess a guy's gotta' be undead to make time with you."
Xander: "I don't handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I've
had, huh?"
Miss Calendar: "You know, that outfit looks just like the one you wore
yesterday, only wrinklier."
Miss Calendar: "A cat last week gave birth to a litter of snakes. A family was
swimming in Whisper Lake when the lake suddenly began to boil. And Mercy
Hospital last night, a boy was born with his eyes facing inward. I'm not stupid.
This is apocalypse stuff. Throw in last night's earthquake, and I'd say we've got
a problem. I'd say the end is pretty seriously nigh."
Cordelia: "Willow, I really like your outfit."
Willow: "No, you don't."
Cordelia: "No, I really don't, but I need a favor."
Willow: "How'd it go?"
Xander: "On a scale of one to ten, it sucked."
Willow: "Oh."
Xander: "Well, I guess it could be worse. I could have gangrene on my face."
Xander: "The deal's done. The polls are in, and it's time for my concession
speech."
Xander: "That's okay. I don't wanna' go. I'm just gonna' go home, lie down, and
listen to country music: the music of pain."
Buffy: "You and me, a mother/daughter thing. We could talk about all the
embarrassing things you love to bring up."
Buffy: "Then what happened?"
Joyce: "I met your father."
Buffy: "He didn't have a date either?"
Joyce: "He did, and that's a much funnier story that you will not get to hear."
Cordelia: "You don't understand. I'm not mad. He totally flaked on me. On me!
And I don't even care. God help me, I think it's cute. Oh! There they are. They're
watching cartoons. That's so cu--that's not cute. That's annoying. I'm
annoyed."
Willow: "Right. I'm furious."
Cordelia: "Well, obviously, Kevin has underestimated the power of my icy
stare."
Miss Calendar: "Okay, so this Master guy tried to open the Hellmouth, but he
got stuck in it. And now all the signs are reading that he's going to get out,
which opens the Hellmouth, which brings the demons, which ends the world."
Giles: "Yes. That about sums it up, yes."
Miss Calendar: "The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire
Slayer. She's so little."
Miss Calendar: "It's kind of warm and fuzzy for a message of doom."
Giles: "I've made up my mind."
Buffy: "So have I."
Giles: "I made up mine first!"
Giles: "We stay calm, first thing."
Xander: "Calm?!"
Willow: "I think he's right."
Xander: "I'm sorry. Calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, but I'm freaked
out and I intend to stay that way."
Xander: "How could you let her go?"
Giles: "As the soon-to-be purple area on my jaw will attest, I did not 'let' her go!"
Miss Calendar: "I'm sorry to bring this up, but we also have an apocalypse to
worry about."
Xander: "Do you mind?"
Willow: "How come she's in the club?"
Master: "Welcome."
Buffy: "Thanks for having me. You know, you really ought to talk to your
contractor. Looks like you've got some water damage."
Master: "Oh, good. The feeble banter portion of the fight."
Xander: "You were looking at my neck."
Angel: "What?"
Xander: "You were checking out my neck, I saw that."
Angel: "No, I wasn't."
Xander: "Just keep your distance, pal."
Angel: "I wasn't looking at your neck."
Xander: "I told you to eat before we left."
Master: "You are not the hunter, you are the lamb."
Buffy: "You know, for someone who's all-powerful, you sure do like to hide."
Master: "Oh, by the way, I like your dress."
Miss Calendar: "Why are they coming here?"
Willow: "Not caring!"
Willow: "We've got to get to the library."
Cordelia: "The library. Great."
Willow: "Of course, we generally walk there."
Buffy: "Oh look, a bad guy."
Cordelia: "See how you like it!"
Master: "Come forth, my child. Come into my world."
Buffy: "I don't think it's yours just yet."
Master: "You're dead!"
Buffy: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."
Master: "You were destined to die. It was written!"
Buffy: "What can I say? I flunked the written."
Master: "Did you really think you could best me here when you couldn't
below?"
Buffy: "You have fruit punch mouth."
Master: "What?"
Buffy: "Save that hypnosis crap for the tourists."
Master: "Where are your jibes now? Will you laugh when my hell is on earth?"
Buffy: "You're that amped about Hell? Go there!"
Giles: "Buffy?"
Buffy: "Oh, sorry. It's just...been a really weird day."
Xander: "Yeah, Buffy died and everything."
Willow: "Wow. Harsh."
Giles: "I should have known that wouldn't stop you."
Miss Calendar: "Well, what do we do now?"
Giles: "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I
don't like the library very much anymore."
Xander: "Hey, I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun."
Cordelia: "Yeah!"
Willow: "Buffy?"
Buffy: "Sure. We saved the world, I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty."
Miss Calendar: "What about him?"
Buffy: "He's n
